Have you ever wanted something so badly you could almost taste it? But, also so badly that the thought of not attaining it—the fear of failure—kept you from even trying?
Yeah, been there. Done that. Wouldn’t wanna pay for the t-shirt.
When we are pursuing a bigger-than-us dream, our souls stretch. If you’ve read this blog for very long, you know I’m hoping to one day be published. I’ve written five books, entered countless contests. Pitched my stories to agents and editors.
I’ve done all the things.
Too often, I’ve done them on my terms.
I’ve won one contest over the years, and I’ve finaled in a few others. But honestly? It’s scary to put my work out there for possible rejection. It can be downright painful to submit my words—my heart—on the page, knowing it may come back to me shredded.
It often seems easier to work on our craft in the background, in the shadows, because no one can see what we’re working on. No one can judge or decide if we’re good enough. The thing about shadows is their borders limit us. And though they may feel safe for a season, they shift, and even go away.
6 Thoughts For How To Overcome A Fear Of Failure—We must choose what we trust more: the fear of failure or the God who called us #tellhisstory #fearoffailure Click To TweetAt some point, we must come out into the sun. We must choose what we trust more: the fear of failure or the God who called us. If we’re afraid to try something, and we let fear determine our choices, we’ll miss the blessings God has for us.
When I put my hope in my own efforts, and I don’t win the contest, or have an agent say yes (still waiting on that one), it’s going to hurt.
The Truth About Failure
Failing—not achieving our goals—stings like a bee against bare skin. The emotions and thoughts seep well below the surface. And, in our weaker moments, we may even believe that it was not only our work that was a failure, but that WE are a failure.
That’s wrong thinking.
Even when we’re trusting God with the whole process and the rejection, the “Thanks, but no” response comes back, it hurts. It does. But, when we know we’re walking on the path God has for us, we can rest in that.
When we trust our Father in spite of the “No” answer, we can bounce back. If we ask for His perspective, the “No” can be used to mold us more into the image of Jesus. I know, that sounds like a platitude. But take it from a writer who’s heard the No’s, God can use it.
Mindsets to Overcome a Fear of Failure
How we view circumstances and the things that happen in our lives will shape how we approach the possibility of failure.
In Daily Life
- If we know we’re following God’s calling in our lives, we need to trust Him. Learning and growing happen in the failing and in disappointments. And, because our efforts “were a failure” this time around, doesn’t mean they always will be.
- We need to ask God to show us who we think is in control. Often, when I don’t want to work on my story or submit it to a professional, it’s because I want control of the result. I want to shield my heart. Because in my puny little head, I think I know what’s best for me. But growth happens in the hard seasons. Intimacy with our Father can only occur when we’re deep down honest with Him about our fears.
In Pursuing Dreams
- Reframe how we view our calling and our dream. When we view the fulfillment of our dream through God’s perspective, how will that help us to move past the fear of failure? When I entered writing contests in the past it was to learn and grow from others’ feedback. If my goal becomes to win, that can feel too daunting. Who knows if the judges will like my work or not?
- Each time we “step out in faith” we’re moving closer to the dreams God’s given us. When we trust God more than the fear of failure, we can move forward in confidence.
- Remember we don’t fall short. When we are working toward attaining something, and our efforts fall short, we must protect our identities. We must be careful not to internalize how others perceive our efforts.
- Whether we succeed or we fail, we can learn and grow. It all depends on how we view each step of our journey.
As much as we may hate it, failure is a part of life. The question is, will we allow it to define us, or will we allow it to teach us? When we trust God more than we fear failure, that’s when we are going to learn how to be brave and overcome that fear.
What about you? What lessons have you learned in times when you’ve faced failure? Is there something that has helped you overcome the fear of failure?
PS—Remember next week’s Tell His Story link up will be over at Lisa Jordan’s site!
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That rejection can really mess with head-space. When I self-published one of my children’s books that had been sitting in a file folder for at least 20 years – that had come so close to being published but then the publishing house was bought by a bigger publishing house that was no longer interested – it was a huge thing – my story finally had a jacket that I could take out and read to those God gave me. I felt like God was telling me to let go of pre-conceived ideas of success in the writing world – that I was to take that one step at a time down His path His way – and to trust Him. No – my sphere of influence isn’t big – but I do believe it is God-designed – and that I need to make the most of that space He has given me. Trusting in His plan – it’s always better than mine! We will be amazed, Jeanne – when we look back over the journey one day!
https://bluecottonmemory.com/open-my-eyes-in-wonder/
Maryleigh, please, please forgive me for not responding sooner! I’m so sorry! You’re comment went to spam (?) and I’m not sure why. I just found it. I always appreciate your words. I am sorry you faced that rejection. But I am so thankful for your story of how you picked yourself up and trusted God to help you move forward. That is always a good plan, and it’s an encouragement. May God continue to help you glorify Him in your sphere of influence!
So much good to chew on here regarding our perspective on stepping out in faith. It’s definitely good to pause and examine what’s keeping us back and prayerfully hand it all over to God. Thanks for starting the wheels turning, Jeanne.
Lots of good insights, and “whether we succeed or fail, we can still grow” is especially one I need to keep in mind! Thank you, Jeanne for an encouraging post!
Kathy, thank you for your encouraging words!
“Each time we “step out in faith” we’re moving closer to the dreams God’s given us. When we trust God more than the fear of failure, we can move forward in confidence.” Love that statement! When reaching out in anything, I try to reframe it as an experiment and ‘let’s see what happens’ attitude. If it doesn’t work out, then let’s try a different way as in any ‘failed’ experiment. This way, I find, life becomes about experiences rather than successes and failures.
Lynn, I really like the idea of reframing things to see them as an experiment rather than a succeed/fail situation! Our attitudes will determine our mindsets as we face new situations. I really like the focus of thinking about life as experiences rather than successes and failures.
I feel you on all these things. Thanks for the good word.
Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone!
Great thoughts on Fear of Failure! It holds many back from stepping out.
Your photo skills are excellent! Marvelous picture under title TRUTH ABOUT FAILURE. You are a talented lady all around!
Thanks for your encouraging words, Mom. I so appreciate you!
Not sure I have a fear of failure any longer. I used to…but now (maybe) I just count it as a possible experience?
Looking at those times when we face failure as a possible experience is a great perspective!
Ahh, the fear of failure can be just as strong as the fear of success Jeanne. 😉
Bless you,
Jennifer
So true, Jennifer. Fear on either end of that spectrum is crippling. Bless you back, Jennifer.
Jeanne, very practical advice! It’s so important to have the right view of both success and failure according to scripture. That being said, I don’t fear “failure” as I learn more from failures than I do from success!!
So true, Donna! Basing our definition of success (and failure) on Scripture can make the difference for every aspect of our lives. I’m like you, learning more from failure than success. 🙂
Lots of great advice here, Jeanne. This in particular stood out to me: “Whether we succeed or we fail, we can learn and grow. It all depends on how we view each step of our journey.” So true!
Thanks for your encouragement, Lisa!
Trust & Obey = No Fear
Right?!?!?
Great Post!
RIGHT!!! 🙂 So glad you enjoyed the post!
Trying again and again and not achieving our definition of success is discouraging and worse than a bee sting on bare skin. When this happens to me I sometimes remind myself to look at my definition of success for my goal. God’s views it much differently than I do. And then I need to celebrate my small wins. No, I didn’t win the contest, but I was brave enough to submit, and so I celebrate that. Trying not to let the outcomes define us is hard. Oh, Jeanne, keep writing. Keep submitting. 5 books is impressive! You are learning and growing. Hoping to read your books in the near future.
Yes, Theresa. Trying again and again becomes disheartening, especially if we’re going at it with an inaccurate perspective. When we discover God’s definition of success for us, it can make all the difference, can’t it? I love your example. That’s a great way to reframe what we may view as failure! Thanks for your encouragement!
Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Fear of change, failure, and the future — I’ve been dealing with this for years. I’ve recently been working to overcome fear by studying TRUST. Fear is rooted in a lack of trust in God. I’m not going to let it keep winning. Thanks for your excellent tips. This is an encouraging post.
Suzette, good for you working to overcome fear. Yes, trusting God is the foundation for overcoming fear. Fear has this way of looking way bigger than it is. But, when we choose to trust God, this makes all the difference. I’m so glad this post encouraged you!
I needed this today! I don’t like failure—and I often fail to realize ‘failure’ is often a lesson on my journey, not actually failure. Does that make sense? I let rejection in one area scare me off from trying, instead of taking the criticism and mining the lessons learned.
Anita, yes to what you said about failure often being a lesson on our journey. It’s not a destination, is it? Your words make perfect sense, my friend. May we both choose to mine for the lessons God has for us rather than being deterred when rejection or failure joins us on our journey for a season.
I want to internalize this message, Jeanne. My ideas of success and failure don’t always line up with scripture!
Yes, Michele. Too many times, I’ve had to hold my version of success up to my Father for Him to reshape in my mind and heart. If it doesn’t line up with Scripture, it’s not success, is it?
That’s a good perspective on writing contests–to enter them to learn and grow, not necessarily to win. I have learned through each one I’ve entered, but only a few can go on to win. That doesn’t mean all the rest were bad.
Yes, I can say I have learned through failure, as much or possibly more than from success. Maybe because failure humbles us. Whatever the reason, I’m trying to ask God to help me learn and grow through what He allows in my life. That hopefully should undermine a fear of failure, because whatever happens, God will use it in our lives.
You’re right, Barbara. I’ve learned from every contest I’ve entered. Many have also taught me humility as a part of the learning, but that’s so important when we’re seeking to glorify GOD through our words and not ourselves. 🙂 I second your prayer, my friend. It will provide a great perspective when we face failures.
Jeanne, I love this idea about reframing and choosing to ‘view the fulfillment of our dream through God’s perspective.’ Navigating trials ‘in the light of eternity’ gives us a whole different viewpoint, healthier and biblical and filled with hope.
Thanks for taking us there today …
Linda, I bet that, like me, you have seen how God’s vision of our dreams is often different from our own. 🙂 Yes, when we view trials and highlights of our lives through the lens of eternity, we will see them with a much healthier and more biblical perspective!
Sometimes we do things and we think it is for a particular reason or purpose, and it was. Then years later, the Lord brings the experience to mind, revealing the lessons learned previously and how they are to be used currently. Jeanne, I agree with you – everything in our lives, even rejection or failure, serves purposes in our lives far deeper than we may know. Every step of life’s journey is purposeful when we walk in His ways and wait on Him to unfold His plans. Thank you for the reminder today!
Joanne, I’ve found God works in such multi-faceted ways! You’re right, we may gain a limited view in the middle of the experience, but when we look back, we discover a much bigger scope of His presence during that time. so resonate with what you said here: “Every step of life’s journey is purposeful when we walk in His ways and wait on Him to unfold His plans.” Thanks for sharing your wisdom, my friend!