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Why should you be kind to yourself?
If I had a quarter for every time I beat myself up after saying something I wished back, I’d be wealthy. For my first decade after college, there were many times I’d say something and then realize it was the wrong thing to say. I worried the words were hurtful, didn’t convey what I meant, or were unnecessary. Then, the mental/emotional pummeling commenced, and my identity bore the hits.
Here’s the thing: we’re human. We will make mistakes, say things we later regret, and do things that hurt others. We rarely intend to mess up, but that doesn’t change how our words and actions impact others. We won’t always live up to our—or others’—expectations of us.
When we mess up, we have a choice about how to respond.
We can use mental and emotional boxing gloves and leave bruises on our self-worth. Or we can show ourselves kindness.
When we tear ourselves down, we forget the intrinsic value God has placed on us. We dent our understanding of our identity as God’s child.
7 Meaningful Ways and Reasons to Be Kind to Yourself—7 Meaningful Ways and Reasons to Be Kind to Yourself—When we tear ourselves down, we forget the intrinsic value God has placed on us. We dent our understanding of our identity as… Click To TweetWhen you show kindness to yourself, you live into the identity God has given you.
Why it’s important to be kind to yourself
The way we treat others shows the importance we place on them. God tells us to love others because He loves them. When we treat people well, the truth that we. are comfortable with our identities in God’s family shines through.
7 Meaningful Ways and Reasons to Be Kind to Yourself—The way we treat others shows the importance we place on them. God tells us to love others because He loves them. #tellhisstory #selfworth #bekind Click To TweetAccording to the Harvard Business Review, showing kindness to ourselves alleviates anxiety, stress, and worry about our lives.
God has created us for specific purposes. When we don’t understand the value He’s placed on us, we can’t develop the confidence and the belief that we can fulfill that task with Him.
Being kind to ourselves doesn’t mean we ignore our mistakes and act as though we never did them. We need to be honest enough to acknowledge when we mess up.
God knows we won’t attain perfection on this side of heaven. Jesus’ death on the cross and our acceptance of His forgiveness and salvation opens up grace to us. Our Father makes His grace always available to help us. Will we receive what He offers?
Ways to be kind to yourself
Being gentle with ourselves is important.
Here are six helps and reminders to be kind to yourself:
- Spend daily time in God’s word to remember your value—who you are in Jesus
- Acknowledge when you make mistakes and do what you can to make things right
- Talk kindly to yourself—not berating but remembering the truth that you are God’s child. Remember what God’s word says about you.
- Take physical care of yourself. Sometimes, we punish ourselves due to something we did that hurt another.
- Don’t get caught up in the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s that come when we make a mistake
- Remember, God loves us, even when we mess up big.
Jeremiah 31:3 says God has loved us with an everlasting love. Romans 8:38-39 reminds us nothing can separate us from His love.
If this is true, why wouldn’t we allow God’s truth to guide us?
Conclusion
It’s taken a lifetime to grasp the truth that it’s not only okay to be kind to myself after I mess up, but it’s healing. I’m learning to let go of the self-expectation to speak and act perfectly all the time.
God’s grace and evaluating my words and actions through the filter of His love have helped me stop beating myself up over every possible imperfection.
Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so.
And that’s enough.
What about you? What are your thoughts about how to be kind to yourself? Do you agree or disagree with the idea of showing yourself kindness (and why)?
Next week, we’ll be back here.
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How am I being kind to myself? Well, I’m more than a week late in commenting here, but I gave myself grace on that–and many other things–last week because there was a whole lotta adjusting and pivoting and getting used to things going on. 🙂 I love your advice not to get caught up in “woulda, coulda, shoulda”–much healthier to learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward. Praying for you, friend …
Ahhh, friend. A week late is okay. 😉 When we have adjusting and pivoting to do (as you and I both do!), grace is necessary. I’m praying for you, my friend.
I can identify with your earlier struggles. Second guessing ourselves is so easy and can become a deep-seated habit. But thank God we can go back to the cross and look up to see that all our sins have already been nailed to it!
Donna, yes second-guessing ourselves too easily becomes a deep-seated habit. I’m so thankful we can go back to the cross and remember our sins are dealt with. Thank you so much for stopping by!
good reminders, Jeanne, on how to be kind to ourselves, rather than beating ourselves up over our words. Thank you.
Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Kathy!
Oh, if we could let this seep deep into our souls and do it daily! Great advice here, Jeanne. Being kinder to ourselves can help us become kinder to everyone else too!
Right? I need to keep coming back to this message too, my friend.
Wonderful advice Jeanne!
Blessings, Jennifer
Thanks, Jennifer!
Jeanne, I love all your points. When I think about God’s love, I’m trying to remember that I can never do anything to lose His love for me. And since that is truth backed up by Scripture, it helps me be less critcal and hard on myself.
Thank you for your encouragement, Karen! That truth—that we can never do anything to lose His love—is powerful, isn’t it?
Thank you, Jeanne for such a lovely post. I know you and I share similar thoughts about identity and who we belong to. It is easy to beat ourselves up, isn’t it? You provided a thorough list of ways to be kind to ourselves. I’m glad you included physical, emotional, and spiritual ideas. I would add when we make a mistake, we should acknowledge it but if we also have some strong emotions tied to that mistake, we need to acknowledge the emotions, too.
Mary, yes, it is toooo easy to beat ourselves up. I’m glad you appreciated the thoughts for ways to be kind to ourselves. I love your addition. You’re spot on, friend!
I agree, we need to show kindness to ourselves. Often we cam say things to ourselves that we would never say to other people. I think you’re right that reminding ourselves of our value to God makes a big difference.
Lesley, you’re right. Because those words only show up in our thoughts, it’s like there’s no filter to temper them. We do say things to ourselves we have no business thinking/saying. I’ve found that understanding my value to God has made all the difference.
“When we tear ourselves down, we forget the intrinsic value God has placed on us. We dent our understanding of our identity as God’s child.” Such a needed reminder, Jeanne. Thanks so much for these encouraging helps to be kind to ourselves and allow God’s Truth to guide us. I love your butterfly photos, too. 🙂 May God’s love and truth free us to fly in Him and for Him! Love and blessings to you!
Trudy, thank you for your sweet encouragement. You and I can both practice being kind to ourselves. Sending you a big hug, friend.
Keeping our eyes on Jesus, releases us from naval gazing, Jeanne, which is freeing!
Love that, Lisa. And yes, fixing our eyes on Jesus definitely is freeing!
ILL, not I’ll. Stupid phone.
Ordinarily I might write more, but I am way too I’ll, so I hope it’s OK that I comment with a link to a YouTube video from Parson’s Ghost.
https://youtu.be/G7M9GIE5UUc?si=RNTXs-6r_rLJUb1n
Andrew, I’m sooo sorry you’ve been so ILL (autocorrect gets so persnickety). But I appreciate the song. It sure resonates with what I know about you, in the best of ways. I’m continuing to pray for you and Barb, my friend.
God’s love and his sovereignty are the greatest connection I depend on for making sense of the world!
Yes and amen, Michele! I’m beyond thankful for God’s love and sovereignty. They definitely help us make sense of the world.
Ruminating on my mistakes became a default mechanism. Sometimes, I’d ruminate on things that I thought were mistakes, but really were not! I often think “I could have done that better” which can turn to beating myself up if I’m not careful. I realized I was turning the focus on myself, instead of on God and service for others. Yes, Jesus loves you! And may our actions toward ourselves, even when we mess up, demonstrate His love!
Lynn, you and I have had some similar thought traits, if that makes sense. It’s far too easy to turn the focus on ourselves rather than on our Father, especially when we make mistakes. Thank goodness God gives us grace so we can move beyond said mistakes and practice kindness toward ourselves. I love your thoughts, Lynn!
Good counsel, friend. If we can’t love ourselves it’ll be impossible to love others authentically.
YES, Linda. When we see ourselves through God’s eyes and choose to love (rather than condemn) ourselves based on that, we can love others authentically. Thanks for your visit, friend!
I love most of your points take one back to God and actually off oneself. So many secular self help/self love books focus totally on oneself. This is such a good message.
Amy, as I researched this post, I found that many of the links that came up were about secular self-help methods. The Lord has the best wisdom for helping us with the idea of being kind to ourselves. Thanks for your encouraging words!
These are helpful points. Sometimes we’re far more harsh with ourselves than we would be with anyone else. I used to beat myself up mentally over mistakes. I finally realized it was not only a waste of time and mental energy, but destructive. I needed to learn from my mistakes, rely on God’s grace, and move on.
By the way, you said at the end we’d be at Donna’s place next week. Wouldn’t we be back here since it’s the first Tuesday in September?
Barbara, I used to mentally beat myself up over mistakes too. It is destructive. I’m so thankful for God’s grace and for His continuing reminders of how much He loves me and each of His children. Thanks for the correction about where we’re meeting up next week. I made the change on the post. 🙂