Have you ever really considered how fear affects us?
Over the past number of months, I’ve had to accept the reality that, for most of my life, I’ve allowed fear to be the boss of me. Yes, I’m hanging my head a little at the admission. I’ve been a Jesus-girl since I was fourteen. You’d think decades of walking with Him would have cured me, right?
Ummm, nope.
Most of us have a basic understanding of the different kinds of fear. There’s a fear that comes because something threatens us. Usually this kicks our adrenaline into high-gear. Our breaths come short, our hearts pound hard, and our bodies are equipped to fight or flee. We need this kind of fear when we face dangerous situations.
Then there’s the kind of fear that I’m confessing to. It’s a long-term thing that grabs hold of us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and wreaks havoc.
9 Fundamentals About How Fear Affects Us—Then there’s the kind of fear that I’m confessing to. It’s a long-term thing that grabs hold of us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and wreaks havoc #tellhisstory #fear Click To Tweet***Quick note: I’m not a licensed counselor. I’m sharing from a layperson’s perspective.
Understanding fear
Fear is normal. We’ll each face fear in our lives. It’s what we do with it that determines our outcomes.
Fear can keep us safe. In dangerous or new situations, a degree of fear is healthy. As our bodies react, we can prepare to flee or protect ourselves in the short-term.
Fear can be good, when it challenges us in a positive way. When we are afraid of trying something new (skydiving, anyone?), fear can be what prods us to accomplish said activity and then experience that sense of achievement.
Fear can be debilitating when it dictates our decision-making processes and perceptions. Allowing fear to determine our responses to life will cripple us if we don’t overcome it.
Causes of fear
Some personalities tend toward fearfulness. For others, fear drills in after traumatic or emotionally-impacting experiences. When I was a girl, my sensitive nature made me a great target for bullies. They said or did something hurtful, and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. In self-preservation, I withdrew from my classmates.
In time, I learned how to function without being vulnerable. I became a people-pleaser in order to avoid being snubbed. This fear of rejection affected me into my forties.
People who’ve experienced trauma—whether from an event like a car crash or the loss of a loved one, or those who faced various kinds of abuse—may react in strong ways. They may seek to avoid certain people or situations out of the fear of re-experiencing pain they’ve known in the past.
Long-term fear affects our thoughts, our decisions, our heart, our perceptions. It’s so sneaky, we may not even realize its influence for years. Learning how fear affects us enables us to deal with it.
9 Fundamentals About How Fear Affects Us—Long-term fear affects our thoughts, our decisions, our heart, our perceptions. It’s so sneaky, we may not even realize its influence for years #tellhisstory #howfearaffectsus Click To Tweet
How fear affects us
Fear impacts each aspect of who we are.
Physically
Long-term fear affects our minds with brain fog. We may have difficulty processing information or remembering things. It impacts our hearts by increasing our blood pressure, causing chest pain and more. Fear affects us in other areas, like sleep, our digestive systems, and our immune systems.
Mentally
Fear causes us to feel stress. When we live with an underlying sense of uncertainty, we begin to see everything through that filter of fear. This steals our joy. If we live like this long enough, our emotions begin to shut down, and we physically feel the effects of long-term fear.
Emotionally
- Fear skews the way we perceive our relationships with others. Depending on what we’re afraid of, we may find it difficult to trust people with our hearts, thoughts, and feelings. When authenticity is missing in a relationship, it won’t go very deep or be satisfying.
- We may withdraw from people because we feel shame for having the fear we do or because we compare us at our worst with others at their best.
Spiritually
Fear affects so many areas of our spiritual life. It causes:
- Doubting of God
- Lack of peace
- We may try to control every facet of our lives rather than trust God when the unknowns come in
- Isolation from God and others
This is a limited list of how fear affects us. How do we deal with this nemesis? I’m not sure we can completely eliminate it from our lives. Rather, we learn how to overcome it.
Initial thoughts for dealing with fear
There are tons of articles available to read for ways to overcome our fear. Here are a few ideas that are frequently mentioned:
- Find ways to reduce stress
- Take care of ourselves by getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising
- Self-care is a thing. It’s not sinful or selfish to give ourselves time to rest. This may look like doing something we enjoy (Reading? Hiking? Having coffee with a friend? Something else?).
- Spend time with family and friends
- Talk with someone about how we feel—a counselor or a trusted friend
- Pray and talk or journal with God about the fear. Be gut-level honest with Him. He can handle it.
Conclusion
The next few blogposts will unpack this concept more. This is important to me because it’s been a lifelong issue.
God has shown me areas where I’ve been impacted. Fear took root in my younger years. I’ve had to work on my thought-life and on following through with what I always said is the best thing to do:
Trust God, no matter what.
This is much easier said than done, isn’t it? We’re going to unpack that too.
I’m not allowing fear to boss me around anymore. I’m thankful our Father is always trustworthy and always loves us, even when we have trouble letting go of fear. He always protects us. He always walks with us through fearful situations, and He works healing in our lives. Let’s hold onto that truth.
What about you? What kinds of fears have you grappled with? As you consider how fear affects us all, how do you navigate through it?
Come share your story at the Tell His Story linkup. Connect and be encouraged by like-minded friends! #tellhisstory #linkup Click To TweetMost weeks, I link up with Grace and Truth, Anita Ojeda, Instaencouragements, and sometimes Let’s Have Coffee. Come join and read more encouraging posts!
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Hi Jeanne,
I know a lot about fear. It was once a close companion and still knocks at the door when life overwhelms me at times. I’m looking forward to your series!
Blessings to you friend,
Tammy
Tammy, I’m sorry you’ve dealt with fear so much. I hope you’ll share in the comments what has helped you overcome fear in your life!
Jeanne, I asked my dad once what I was like as a child (just to get an objective viewpoint) and he said, “You were always very fearful.” I think that may have had something to do with the fact that I worried about everything. Not as much nowadays, thank goodness. But when anxious thoughts grip me (usually in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep), I try to replace them with familiar scriptures like Psalm 23 or Psalm 121 … that usually helps. Looking forward to learning more from you about this important topic.
Lois, it’s funny how some of us tend to be more fearful than others, especially in our childhoods. I always feel fear the strongest at night too. I love the Scriptures you turn to. Thanks for sharing them!
Fear has been a long-term issue for me too, so I appreciate your words here and I look forward to reading more! I love that we can be honest with God about our fears and trust him to help us rather than to condemn us. While I think in some ways the last couple of years have worsened my fears (the pandemic plus a couple of other situations) it is also encouraging to look back and see areas where God has helped me to make progress, and that I can do things where fear would have held me back in the past.
Lesley, like you, I am so thankful we can be completely honest about our fears. And I’m so glad He’s trustworthy and faithful. These past couple of years have definitely given us opportunities to learn more about how to trust the Lord. Thank you for stopping by, my friend.
I so appreciate the word here and your honesty. I think/know most of us have been more bombarded with anxiety and fear than we often acknowledge. The last several years of the pandemic and the deepening darkness of the world has made that even harder to combat. Those fears have hit me over unresolved health issues after a series of medical issues that were very difficult over the last two years that affected my husband and our adult son. We need to stand together in the midst of the onslaught. It is not easy and the physical component that triggers adrenal (flight/fight) responses and how our neurotransmitters get involved make it all the harder. Today’s words blessed me a great deal in my own attempt to defeat these enemies in my own life.
Pam, I think you’re right. Most of us have grappled with anxiety and fear, especially in the past couple of years. Unresolved medical issues can feel absolutely overwhelming. There is something powerful about standing together when fear tries to strike. Thank you for sharing a bit of you and for your encouraging words.
Jeanne, this resonated with my heart. Fear has gripped me, especially my mind, so many times in life. I like how you mentioned all the aspects where fear can grab ahold of us and what each of those look like. I’ve struggled in the past with panic attacks and an episode only two years ago. It’s debilitating. When I remember 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that the Lord has NOT given us a spirit of fear, I have to ask who does, it’s an attack from the enemy and our own what-ifs, etc. So now I quote that verse over and over to myself on what the Lord has given us, a spirit of power, love, and sound mind (my favorite version, NKJV). Thank you for this!
Karen, please forgive me for never responding to your comment! I’m sorry you’ve dealt with panic attacks. I haven’t had those, but I’e definitely had times when I’ve been choked by fear! I’ve come back to 2 Timothy 1:7 many times too. I’m so glad you shared that here.
Thank you for being so candid here Jeanne! Yes, fear & anxiety can grip anyone of us at any time in our lives & to varying degrees.
I find the last on the list above,
” Pray and talk or journal with God about the fear. Be gut-level honest with Him. He can handle it.”
Is my first go to when anxiety hits which can morph into fear if I nourish it & not go to God first. 😉
Bless you,
Jennifer
Jennifer, yes, praying and talking with God is the first thing we should do when begin to feel fear coming on!
I used to be so good at worrying that I joked it had to be a spiritual gift!
BUT THEN…
One day, God miraculously delivered me from the habit that kept me stuck in a destructive spiral of worry, fear, worry fear!
What a glorious day it was!!
Funny, Barbara. I may have called worry one of my spiritual gifts a time or two, as well. I love your testimony of how God delivered you from the worry habit. What a beautiful thing He did!
Yes it is!
Jeanne, great topic for the times in which we live! Despite our best efforts we are all prone to fear first! Slowing down and reframing our situations helps us get our focus back on God and OFF our circumstances.
Yes, Donna. We are prone to fear first! Been there. Done that. TOO many times. I like your suggestion to slow down and reframe our situations to get our focus back on God. Great wisdom here!
You’re right, Jeanne, fear can be good and keep us safe, yet it can also be debilitating. I’m sad that you were bullied in school! The Lord created you to be sensitive to Him, His heart, His voice, and the enemy came to circumvent that holy sensitivity in you. I’m so glad the Lord has gently led you out of the bondage of fear and rejection and into an overcoming place of freedom. Hallelujah!
Thanks for your compassion, Lisa. God is always faithful. He used those years, those memories, to build character within me. He redeems those broken seasons, doesn’t He?
I suppose it’s terrifying
and should draw a bitter tear,
but I’m finding that my dying
is not really cause for fear.
Sure, two comas in a week
ain’t really the best of places,
but you’ll find if you will seek
an abundance of God’s graces
in the meaning of the knowing
that there’s gratitude sublime
as my sands are quickly flowing
through the hourglass of time,
and each minute I still live
means there’s more that I can give.
Ahhh, Andrew. It’s so nice to read your words here. I love the perspective in your words. And I am truly sorry you endured two comas in a week. Thank you for the reminder that God’s grace is abundant when we face difficult, painful, uncertain seasons. You are truly an overcomer, my friend. I’m continuing to pray for you and Barb and the dogs.
“Trust God no matter what.” That really is the crux of it isn’t it? But often easier said than done. I look forward to following along with you as you unpack something that is such a common problem to many of us!
Trusting God is the crux of it. And it’s tough to live out consistently. Thanks for your words here, Lauren!
Fear can be such a dominating force in our lives. Thank you for breaking it apart for me (and others) so that the picture can become clearer as we draw closer to God. Nelson Mandela had plenty of reasons to be afraid. To be imprisoned for so many years…to not be in control of one’s physical self must be a terrible place to be. Yet, it is the spirit in us that needs to be able to fly. No wonder Mr. Mandela could say such truth about fear.
Linda, I so appreciate your perspective. This quote by Nelson Mandela has gone through my mind and heart many times over the past number of years. I love how you added context to it by reminding us all that he endured. God does bring us through difficult times and digs depth into us as we walk them out, especially when we hold His hand.
I’ve dealt with fear in various forms all my life too. It helps me to dig underneath it to see what’s really going on. Sometimes it’s what I expected; sometimes it’s something else entirely. I’m thankful, too, that God rides with me through it all!
Lisa, I love the suggestion to dig underneath the fears to determine what’s really going on/what’s at their root. I’ve found that helpful too. And YES, God rides with us through it all. Thank goodness!
I am thankful that when fear tries to set in my thoughts, I can go to God and find peace. We all have different situations/things that can bring about fear in the moment. When I take my worries and fear to Him, I am covered with His love.
Melissa, yes. God is always faithful to give us His peace when we go to Him with hearts that can confess ur fear. Thanks for your hopeful words!
Hi Jeanne, I hadn’t thought that fear also can cause brain fog. That’s really interesting. I can see how fear is a lot like anxiety. Fear can cause anxiety and vice versa. I’m not always sure if I am anxious or fearful! Lately I’ve been fearful of possibilities, rather than immediate threats, so in the anxiety zone (and I have eczema around an eye from it). To help, I’ve been working on relieving pressures. Working and school has been taking a lot of time, so on my downtime I’ve been spending time with family and friends, baking, and learning guitar – things just for me to alleviate the mental pressure, instead of writing on my blog, for example. It is hard, but your words to let God walk with me through this season gives me comfort that I am not failing even if I am not getting all done as I hoped. Thank you for sharing your story!
Lynn, it seems like fear and anxiety tend to overlap, doesn’t it? Possibilities/Uncertainty can definitely cause fear and anxiety within us. I’m sorry you’re living out some of the physical effects of it. The suggestion to alleviate pressures is wise. Like you, I’m learning I need to say no to a lot of good things so I can say yes to the most important things. I love that you’re giving yourself time to do those things that bring rest to your spirit. SO crucial for us in fear-inducing seasons. Good perspective that you’re NOT failing, even if you’re not getting all the things done. I’m saying a prayer for you today.
I lived with the fear of Pedro’s imminent death for almost a year (he didn’t die) as he struggled through cancer. That daily diet of stress and uncertainty took decades to recover from. I’ve learned to deal with stress NOW, not put it off until after the crisis has passed. Do I always get it right? No. But I know what signs to look for, ways to take care of myself kids madly, and the importance of seeking professional help sooner rather than later. God was always with me, and he is always with me, but being a Jesus-girl doesn’t mean we can ignore basic self-care (despite all those platitudes to the contrary).
Anita, losing my husband has been a huge fear I’ve had to work through over the years. But living under the very real possibility as you’re walking through it would definitely add stress to a body, soul, and spirit. I love your suggestion of dealing with the stress now rather than putting it off and hoping maybe it will go away. Thank you so much for sharing your hard-earned wisdom, my friend.
I’ve been prone to fear all my life. I’m a chronic overthinker, and as a child, I had an active imagination. I’d hear a noise in the night, and instead of realizing it was just a creaky house, I’d build up a whole scenario in my mind about who could be invading our house. Once I thought the rounded shape I saw at the edge of my bunk bed was a headhunter, and if I kept my eyes closed tight, he’d think I was asleep and go away. In the morning, I saw the round shape was my teddy bear’s head. 🙂
But then other things happened in life to increase that tendency toward fear. I’ve found many of the truths you mention here to be helpful over the years. One more recent help is to face the “What if?” head on. What if the diagnosis is bad, what if my husband has been in an accident instead of just running late coming home? Whatever God allows to happen, He’ll give the grace to deal with.
One resource that helped me a lot is Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest by Edward T. Welch.
Barbara, I understand the overthinking and the wildly imaginative imagination. I appreciate your suggestion to confront the “What if . . .” scenario. There’s a lot of wisdom in bringing those dark thoughts into the light and trusting God to give the grace should they become reality. Thanks for sharing the book title. Sounds like a good one to look into!
It’s helpful to return to the basics of good health –practices I take for granted. They are the foundation for fighting fear.
Michele, sometimes we need a refresher on the basic, yes?