How do we respond when we feel worthless?
Keeping it real, I recently talked with a loved one who has made a series of poor choices. They are unhappy with where they are in life, and right now, they feel worthless. Believe me when I say I’ve been there.
Our conversation reminded me of the importance of finding our value in the One who gives it. Our choices—good or bad—do not assign us value. When we mess up or sin against God and others, we may adopt some faulty beliefs about our value and our worth to others.
When we fail in relationships, in aspiring to reach a dream, in our jobs, or in some other way, thoughts of worthlessness creep into our minds and hearts. If we dwell on our perceived failings, we can experience long-range impact on who we believe we are.
When We Feel Worthless: 5 Ways to Remember Our Value—If we dwell on our perceived failings, we can experience long-range impact on who we believe we are #tellhisstory #feelworthless #knowourvalue Click To TweetThe impacts when we feel worthless
When we feel like we have no value, we fall into thought traps. We:
- forget our value to God and others because our self-perceptions become skewed
- lose motivation to move forward in life
- can slip into depression
- become self-focused, especially on the ways we don’t measure up
Here’s the thing about feelings. They are literally waves. They crest and subside, and often in a short period of time. We must not base our value or important decisions on how we feel in a given moment.
A sense of worthlessness may drive us to dig and discover what’s at the root of the feeling. But we must be wary of focusing our thoughts so much on the feeling that we internalize the thoughts and then call them reality.
What does God say about our worth?
He tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
He knows the number of hairs on our heads.
We have great value to Him.
We are precious to Him because we are His creation.
He has loved us with an everlasting love.
God has a lot to say about what He thinks of His creation. Put simply, He loves us! Not because of who we are (besides being His creation) or what we’re good at. He loves us. Period. There’s nothing we can do to cause Him to love us more or less.
When We Feel Worthless: 5 Ways to Remember Our Value—He loves us. Period. There’s nothing we can do to cause Him to love us more or less. #tellhisstory #feelingworthless #whatgodsays Click To TweetSometimes feeling worthless comes from messages others have given us through childhood, abuse, bullying, or in another way. Other times, our sense of worthlessness has developed as the result of choices we’ve made that we regret.
God still values us.
He sees us as precious, cherished.
He doesn’t think less of us when we fail or fall short.
What do we do with this information? How do we move beyond feeling worthless?
Finding our worth when we feel worthless
When we struggle with feeling worthless, we need a shift in our perspective. As with so many things, working through these suggestions takes time. We need to give ourselves grace as we shift our perspective and find our worth.
This process begins with understanding how God views us
He loves us completely, perfectly, and passionately. He knows we’ll make mistakes—we’ll sin—but He still loves us. Do we need to ask for forgiveness? Yes. But, we can be reassured when we ask, that God always forgives. So, we also need to forgive ourselves.
Evaluate
If our sense of worthlessness comes from how others have spoken to or treated us, we must evaluate if their treatment is more about us or about them. If we feel worthless because of how we think God views us, we need to align our beliefs with what His word says about us. And believe His word.
Determine where we’re trying to earn our value
If we’re looking to humans or perceived success/achievements, financial security, or anything besides God, we must readjust our focus.
Care for our physical bodies
When we struggle emotionally or mentally, taking care of our physical needs better equips our minds and hearts.
- Make healthy food choices
- Spend some time outdoors
- Exercise
- Get enough sleep
Equipping our bodies with the care it needs enables our hearts and minds, to shift perspectives more easily.
Find refreshment
If the root of the feeling of worthlessness presses in because we’re overwhelmed or too busy, set aside time to do something that refreshes us. Getting outside our heads and finding those activities that nourish our spirits resets our feelings and perspective.
Briefly, a continuing sense of feeling worthless can be a sign of deeper issues—depression or other mental health concerns. It’s important to talk with someone who can help with this.
Conclusion
As for my loved one, their happy ending isn’t yet written. They are still in the hard work of deciding how to handle this place where they find themselves. My role here: it’s to pray. To be a listening ear. And to point them to Jesus.
Jesus is the Giver of worth. If He says we have worth, we must allow no one to refute that.
What about you? What has helped you understand your worth? How do you encourage others to not feel worthless?
Next week, we’ll be meeting and linking up at Lisa Jordan’s place!
Come share your story at the Tell His Story linkup. Connect and be encouraged by like-minded friends! #tellhisstory #linkup Click To TweetMost weeks, I link up with Grace and Truth, Anita Ojeda, Instaencouragements, and sometimes Let’s Have Coffee. Come join and read more encouraging posts!
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
so important to remember our worth is found in Christ!
I completely agree, Kathy!
Jeanne, I wish I had realized this when I was a teenager: “If our sense of worthlessness comes from how others have spoken to or treated us, we must evaluate if their treatment is more about us or about them.” Praying for you as you pray for your loved one …
Lois, it took me far too many years to discover this truth. Thank goodness God helped us learn and find our value in Him, right?
Jeanne, this is a place most of us have found ourselves at some point in life. The words of others, negative self-talk and the enemy’s whispers cause us to lose sight of who we are to the heavenly Father. I love all your points and ways to refocus and change our perspective. I have to remind myself when it comes to how God sees me: I am loved, I am chosen, I am forgiven, and I am redeemed.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I nodded to all you added tot his conversation. I love the four “I am’s…” you dwell on!
Stopping by for the second time today! I love when linkups do that!
🙂
I am so grateful our value isn’t determined by our feelings – but by who we our to our Father. I think that was the most life-changing realization in my life – finding my identity in Him. That’s when I started to find peace and joy in the daily. One of the things I love most about your post (and there are a lot of things) – is how you show to encourage those who haven’t grasped that yet – how to love them like our Father loves them and has loved us! Straight to the heart, my friend! ~ Maryleigh
Maryleigh, yes and amen. It’s not about how great we are, but it’s about how great our Father is. Because of how He views us, we have value. This has been a life-changing truth for me to grasp and embrace too. Thanks so much for your encouragement, my friend!
What a wonderful reminder, Jeanne. Our feelings are like waves. So true. And I really appreciated your advice to care for our physical bodies. It can be easy to neglect it in a misguided effort to avoid vanity, but as the temple of the Holy Spirit and the vessel God made, our bodies should be nurtured. In my own life, I have found that I am more grateful for my body (and like it more) when I am trying to eat healthy and exercise.
Ashley, I’ve been the one who dismisses my physical needs because of all the other things demanding my attention and focus, and then I’ve paid for it later. It’s a perspective shift to give permission to do what’s good for us, isn’t it? I’m with you, more grateful for my body when it’s doing what it’s designed because I’ve treated it the way it needs to be treated. 🙂
“Determine where we’re trying to earn our value
If we’re looking to humans or perceived success/achievements, financial security, or anything besides God, we must readjust our focus.” I am in a season of learning to readjust my focus from what I think security is to what is TRUE security, so your words really resonated with me today (and many other times, as always, of course)! Self-worthiness just points to ourselves and cannot be obtained no matter how hard we try. But God’s love gives us our worthiness by just acknowledging and believing in Him. What a gift!
Lynn, it can be such an adjustment to shift our focus from what brought us security in the past to where we should be looking for it: from God.YES, God’s love gives us worth. Such a gift!
I’m so thankful He loves us, Jeanne! This is so true, “God is the One who gives us value. Our choices—good or bad—do not assign us value.” Hallelujah!
Lisa, I’m so thankful God loves us too! Thanks for your encouraging words!
Thank you, Jeanne. Maybe we learn our best.spiritual lessons when we are praying and trusting for our loved ones.
I think you’re right, Michele!
Great post Jeanne! So much encouragement here. I know I have felt worthless at times due to poor choices, but mostly because of lies spoken over me by other people. It has been a rough and long road to learn to counteract those lies with truth from God’s word about my true value.
Donna, it does take time and intentional effort to contradict the lies we sometimes begin to believe. I’ve had to learn that too. I’m so thankful for God’s word that speaks truth and speaks of our value in God’s eyes!
Jeanne, I’m reading Psalm 107 which chronicles a series of bad choices and God’s redeeming grace. So thankful we can call out to Him and He saves us from ourselves!
Awww, Psalm 107. Yes, all those bad choices . . . thank goodness God is ready to help us when we call out to Him and be saved by Him!
Great post Jeanne! I especially liked your filtering statement;
“Here’s the thing about feelings. They are literally waves. They crest and subside, and often in a short period of time. We must not base our value or important decisions on how we feel in a given moment.” Amen!
Blessings,
Jennifer
Jennifer, I’m past the age where I should know better, but I still sometimes get caught up in the undercurrent of strong emotion. I’m learning to let them crest and wane without my making them bigger by ruminating on them too much.
My worth comes from God alone! His opinion is the only one that really matters!
TRUTH, Barb!
I found myself nodding my head throughout this post. You wrote so much that I have been through, but also the ways you point us back to God are ones that I know and need to practice It all comes back to identity. Who or what do we align our identity with?? When I finally learned about my identity in Christ as an adult it made all the difference.
Mary, I’ve been through a lot of these points too, and I learned some the hard way. Thank goodness our Father is the One who defines us, not anyone or anything else. And yes, when we understand about our identity in Christ, it makes all the difference in how we live our lives!
Thank you for sharing this great advice today, Jeanne. There are seasons when it’s easy to allow these things to slip out of our everyday consciousness, so these points are valuable to hear.
Lisa, perhaps part of the reason I wrote this post is because I need the reminder. 🙂
It’s so important to feed ourselves truth to counteract false notions.
Yes and amen, Barb!
Jeanne, this post reminds me of Jesus’ very question in Matthew 6:26. Sparrows, considered the cheapest and most common of birds, and yet, they are provided for by the Creator Himself. Thank you for this precious reminder that our worth comes only from the One who created us, and gives us life. Prayed for your loved one to find their happy ending in Jesus. Blessings!
Joanne, thank goodness our worth comes from our Creator rather than from anything created! Thanks for your prayers for my loved one! I so appreciate that!
I’m so grateful that we find our ultimate value, worth, and identity in who we are in Christ. everything else will always disappoint and miserably fail.
we are blessed indeed, my friend. thanks for reminding us Who defines the heart of who we are.
Linda, me too! I’m beyond grateful our worth isn’t determined by our successes or failures or what other people think about us. Our God sees us through the filter of His love, doesn’t He? Loved your words here, friend.