Have you ever struggled with disappointment with God? My answer: YES . . . too many times to count. As we near Palm Sunday and meditate on Jesus’ final week on earth, I’ve been considering His heart and the hearts of the Jewish leaders.
For his triumphal entry, Jesus gave clear instructions to His disciples about finding Him a donkey to ride into Jerusalem, just as it was prophesied in the Old Testament. I once heard a pastor share that, because of Old Testament prophecies, the Jews in Jesus’ time knew the exact day the Messiah would ride into town on a donkey.
Jesus fulfilled the prophecy. Why did the religious leaders question Jesus’ authority to do so? Was it because there were others trying to get in on the notoriety of riding into Jerusalem on that day and being seen as a hero, a messiah?
Or, was it because Jesus wasn’t the Messiah they wanted? They had already confronted Jesus about His teachings. They criticized His birth. The Jewish leaders even harassed His disciples.
Plans: 6 Steps on How To Manage Our Disappointment With God—Was it because Jesus wasn’t the Messiah they wanted? They had already confronted Jesus about His teachings. #tellhisstory #disappointmentwithgod Click To Tweet
What about us? Is Jesus the Messiah we wanted or expected?
At times I’ve been disappointed with God and His way of doing things in my life. I’ve looked to other people—other things—to be my savior.
How sad is it that we dismiss the amazing love—the amazing gifts—Jesus offers His children because we don’t want His version of saving?
When we find ourselves disappointed in how Jesus is doing things in our lives, it’s important to look at the why’s behind the disappointment.
Why Don’t We Like How He’s Directing Our Lives?
- Is He not meeting our expectations, acquiescing to our agenda?
- Perhaps is it that His way of working in our lives taking too long in our opinion?
- Is He allowing too much pain and disappointment into our present circumstances? Do we feel like He’s not listening when He allows us to remain in difficult places for a long time?
- Is He not cooperating with the plans we mapped out?
Most of us have probably answered “yes” to each of these questions at some point in our lives.
What Should We Do When We Struggle with How Jesus is Acting as Our Messiah?
- Be honest with the Lord about your thoughts and feelings. Whether they are right or wrong, admitting them to Jesus is the first step in dealing with them.
- Spend time in prayer, in journaling about your disappointment, in speaking with a friend who’s not afraid to share the truth with you. And then meditate on what has been shared.
- Ask the Lord to help you see things through His eyes, His perspective. And then sit with Him in the revelations He may share. Don’t rush through this. And don’t diminish what He reveals. Choose humility as you sit with Him. It may be painful, but our God is also a comforter, so lean into His comfort.
- If you’re brave enough, ask God to remove the inaccurate thoughts, the expectations, the agendas from your heart.
- Spend time in God’s word and study Jesus’ life . . . how He interacted with people. How often did He do things the way people expected? Ummm, almost never. Ask Jesus to help you see Him through an accurate perspective.
- Pray like the man in the Bible, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!”. And open your heart and your thoughts to what He reveals to you.
It’s hard, humbling work to realign our perspectives when we’ve faced disappointment with God, and we are living in unmet expectations.
How Will We Manage our Disappointment with God?
The thing is, our Jesus is our Messiah. He is the One who came to earth to die a cruel death because He loves us too much to be separated from us for eternity. The Lord knows what’s best for us, and His plans for our lives are crafted with love and intention.
Plans: 6 Steps on How To Manage Our Disappointment With God—His plans for our lives are crafted with love and intention. #tellhisstory #disappointmentwithgod Click To TweetWill we fist tightly our plans for our lives, or can we, maybe, yield to His much bigger, more amazing-in-the-eternal-perspective plans?
Are we willing to trust He knows what’s best for us, even though it doesn’t feel good—or even right—in the moment? Coming to terms with who Jesus is as our Messiah—our Savior—is a moment-by-moment choosing to trust Him more than ourselves or what we see.
What about you? When have you struggled with what Jesus was doing in your life? How do you come to terms with things when God’s plans are different from yours?
How I talk to God changed when I understood He wanted me to be honest with how I feel – not how I think He wants me to feel – like maybe I’d think I needed to be stronger, to suck it up and be tough, to be long suffering in the suffering. No – He wants the truth – and then, together He shows me, guides me – and it changes everything. My Dad wants His girl to be honest with Him! Then He talks me through to where I need to be! I wish I had learned that before I was 40! I’ve also handed over to Him the pen to my story – I am short-sighted in how I think things should turn out! He is the better writer and planner – even in the sticky parts!
I think seeing things through God’s eyes is hardest for me! I appreciate your tackling these difficult things and your helpful insights!! Thanks, Jeanne!
Disappointments come when we are dissatisfied with our circumstances. We have to choose to accept that God knows what he is doing, whether we like it or not. My personal approach to hardship and pain is to pray that God wouldn’t let the hardship go to waste, but that I would be able to learn and grow into a better person for it and draw closer to God and not farther away.
I agree with Jessica. It takes courage to ask God to correct us. But watching what He can do with our disappointments is always exciting. He does indeed know best.
You’re right on all counts, Nancy. The Lord is faithful in correcting us. And I like your perspective: He often does surprising things with our disappointments. HE definitely knows best! Have a great weekend!
Love your perspective. I think #4 might be my biggest challenge and God is using your post to call me out on it. Lord, help us all to be humble. Thanks for the invite, Jeanne.
Suzette, it does take a little courage to bring our inaccurate thoughts before the Lord and ask Him to work on renewing our perspective. I’m thankful the Lord is always approachable, even when we have to admit to wrong thinking. 🙂 Have a good weekend!
As I grow in Christ, I find our relationship deepens as I share honestly with Him and pray over those things. I need encouragement to continue in that! Thank you!
Amy, I’m like you . . . finding that sharing honestly with the Lord, even when my thoughts are ugly, is what draws me closer to Him in relationship. Thank you so much for stopping by!
So good! I appreciate this one, particularly, today: “If you’re brave enough, ask God to remove the inaccurate thoughts.” This has worked for me. He adjusts my heart and my thinking to the right perspective.
Jessica, it’s taken me a long time to learn this lesson. Thank goodness our Father is patient! I’m so glad He’s willing to do that adjusting to our hearts and perspectives! Have a great weekend!
Jeanne, when I look back, I can see that those times when I have been able to ask God to remove my expectations have also been the times when I was most at peace with His will for my life, even when it was drastically different from what I originally planned or hoped. You’re right … bravery is required to let go of our agenda, knowing that God’s could be quite the opposite! Asking God to help me see from His perspective and through His lens of truth also is important … so often my view is clouded by all sorts of unhelpful and distracting things! Wonderful post, my friend.
Yes, Lois. Almost every time I find myself feeling disappointed with God it’s because of unmet expectations. Asking God to remove those is always a good first step to peace in the situations we’re in. Thank you for sharing your insights here, my friend!
I can so relate to this and I love your steps for dealing with the disappointment. So helpful. Thank you.
Lauren, thank you for your encouragement! It’s a relief to know that I’m not alone in dealing with times of disappointment (however temporary they may be). Have a great weekend!
Love this quote, Jeanne: “Coming to terms with who Jesus is as our Messiah—our Savior—is a moment-by-moment choosing to trust Him more than ourselves or what we see.”
Yes, I’ve experienced disappointment and significant loss, and yes, it has forced me to choose who I trust more!
When disappointment comes, we must seek Him and rest in the assurance that He has a plan. 🙂
Wonderful post Jeanne. It is so important for us to be open and honest with God. He already knows our thoughts and feelings so the next step is to be open with Him. Thanks for sharing
Jeanne, I love this. So wonderfully spoken. Blessings.
I think this is something we all deal with at one time or another, especially during tragedies or outcomes that we simply can’t understand. The points you make and ideas you share here provide a great resource for dealing with those times that we simply can’t understand the whys of a matter.
I have tension around His plan and my plan almost A LOT! Love all your points here Jeanne, and they also let us all know we have the same struggles, but we also have the same FATHER who knows best!
You and me both, Lynn! God still gives me opportunities to embrace His plans over my own. It’s so hard sometimes. I’m so thankful our Father knows best!
Thank you for this heartfelt blog and list. Throughout this disappointing season, I’ve learned to trust and lean on Him; I appreciate the practical ways Thrive shown to handle disappointment and grief.
Candice, learning to trust and lean on Jesus is the best thing we can do, isn’t it? God does have ways of bringing comfort and reassurance in times of disappointment and grief.
O yes I’ve been disappointed but time usually proves that God already knew about all of it and then I can see through my own fog!
I’m with you, Susan. God’s ways have always worked out best in my life . . . in time I can usually see that.
Isn’t it all too human that WE are disappointed with how JESUS is doing things in our lives? I think sometimes that is why some people in the Old Testament wanted a god they could make and control rather than a real, living, all-powerful and all-knowing god. Too often we think we know better, but we don’t see the scope of eternity the way Jesus does. I love your 6 tips here, Jeanne. I have prayed #6 many times (maybe even last night). Thank you for this wonderful post. It’s so good to know I’m not alone.
Oh yes, Laurie. We are so vain sometimes . . . thinking we know better than Jesus how things should go in our lives. Your thought has validity. We’re created to worship something. And how wonderful it would be to be able to control the thing/god we worship. What a crazy thought process. Though we’re more sophisticated with how we do this today, I think you are right about creating gods. May we grow to cling to Jesus’ eternal perspective, even when we don’t understand what He’s allowed in our lives. Thanks for sharing your insight!
Jeanne, thank you for a vulnerable article. We all become disappointed with God at times, but don’t often want to “go there”. But God already knows our hearts and wants us to come to Him with even our disappointments, that He might heal and comfort us. Great steps for working through our thoughts and feelings!
Donna, yes, God already knows our hearts. You’re right. He does want us to come to Him, even with our disappointments. I’m so thankful He is more than able to heal and comfort us. Thank you so much for stopping by!
This really resonates in my heart, Jeanne. Thank you for the reminder to see things through His perspective. And it’s so encouraging that “His plans for our lives are crafted with love and intention.” May we trust our Master Craftsman even when the shaving and molding hurts! Love and blessings to you!
Trudy, it’s when we can see life’s circumstances through God’s perspective that we can best walk through them, don’t you think? I’m grateful our Father isn’t capricious, and that He is always trustworthy! Sending love and blessings back, sweet friend!
When I thought the sun would shine,
down came pouring rain
to scour this sad heart of mine
in blind and ripping pain,
and still I am supposed to sing
a praiseful joyous song,
but that is really hard to bring,
for all this seems so wrong.
I know that God is really smart,
far wiser than the likes of me,
but when He bade me play this part,
was He out of His tree,
or is this awful cancer-road
the way that He can share my load?
Andrew, I appreciate the honesty of your poem. How many times have we thought things in our lives would/should go one way, and God allowed something different to happen? I’m thankful that the Lord doesn’t expect us to be happy about everything that comes into our lives, but that we can be honest with Him. And I believe you are right that, when we allow Him to, God definitely shares the load. I’m praying for you today, my friend.
Philip Yancey wrote a book titled Disappointment with God back in the 80’s or early 90’s, and he had to fight with his publisher to be able to use that title. It’s an emotion we’re afraid of, but very real. Thanks so much for writing about it today
I believe it when you said Philip Yancey had to fight for that title. It feels almost shameful to admit that we can be disappointed with God. He is good, faithful, and loving. We don’t understand His ways because they are higher than ours. And I wonder if that’s sometimes why we feel disappointed. I’m thankful Yancey was able to publish his book and that we don’t have to stay in a place of disappointment with God.
This is a rough one. I’m disappointed in some of the choices my kids are making—I thought I’d done all the right things as a parent so my kids would end up believers. I have to keep entrusting them to God, even when it seems as if they reject him. I have to cling to his promises and remember I am not their Savior.
Anita, I am right there with you in terms of my kids and parenting. I keep coming back to the truths that the Lord loves them even more than I do. That Hubs and I raised them in God’s ways, and in time, hopefully they’ll see that. And that God is working and protecting them in ways I never could . . . because He loves them and desires them to come to Him. I’m saying a prayer for you today, friend.
Being honest with God about our feelings is one of the best things we can do. He knows it all anyway. But there is something special, a trust, that comes when we are truly honest with Him.
I agree, Rebecca. I believe it’s when we’re honest with God about where we are that He is able to bring healing and restoration into our lives. Thank you for sharing your insights!
Jeanne, powerful reflection to consider if Jesus is the Messiah we expected. I particularly like your suggested prayer for the Lord to help our unbelief! “Lord, help us lay down our agenda and pick up Your will.”
Karen, even though I’ve walked with the Lord for many years, I still struggle with some of His ways in my life. I don’t always like how He does things. And doesn’t that sound like a petulant child? But I’m finding that unbelief is sometimes the root of some of the other issues I struggle with. I’m so thankful our Father will meet us in those places and show us His faithfulness and steadfast love.
Jeanne, I think if we are all honest, we have all experienced disappointment with God at some point. I am so grateful for His grace and mercy which pursued me, teaching me to trust Him moment by moment.
Joanne, I believe you’re right. Like you, I’m so grateful for God’s grace and mercy and patience as He draws me (us) close and teaches us how to trust Him.
It seems like life is a continual readjusting of our ways, thoughts, and plans to His. When we stop and think about it, it seems silly that we’d think we know better than the Lord of the universe how things should be done. He’s so gracious to patiently show us where we’re wrong and lead us aright.
Barbara, you’re right about life giving us many opportunities to adjust our ways, thoughts, and plans to our Father’s. I so agree with you about we simple humans thinking we know better than the Creator of the universe, but I’ve been there too. I’m beyond thankful for His grace and patience. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Our disappointment with God ultimately is due to our selfish stiff-necked attitudes &/or the presence of a conrol idol in our lives. I can certainly relate to both of these. Oh, how it saddens me to think of how much time I have wasted by ignoring the whisper of the Holy Spirit.
I have found that most of the time, my disappointment with God comes from Him not meeting my expectations. This sounds trivial, but I think facing the root of our disappointment can help us to see more of God’s faithfulness in our lives, and it can help us draw closer to Him. I, too have dealt with stubbornness and a desire to control. May we each become more sensitive to His spirit so we don’t ignore the Spirit’s whisper in our hearts. Thanks so much for your honesty!
Being open, honest & humble makes each of us better.
Amen!