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Does anyone else battle against striving for perfection during this time of year?
Family dynamics can be tricky at any time of year, but especially during the Christmas season. Expectations sometimes suffocate us. The pressure to appear like the Norman Rockwell family can color our decisions. We strive to find the perfect gift. To attend every gathering. To make every tradition happen without a hitch.
But this leaves us empty.
The First Holy Family
I keep thinking about that first Christmas and that first family.
Mary
Mary, a teenager who was considered virtuous . . . until she showed up “with child.” I can imagine what her parents and siblings said when she told them the Holy Spirit came over her and . . . boom, she was pregnant. News of this scandal probably raced through her small town like a fire fueled by wind.
She may have been ostracized for her yes to her heavenly Father. And yet, she stood by her decision to accept this calling of the Lord. She sacrificed her good reputation to fulfill her Father’s plans for salvation.
Joseph
Joseph, a righteous, well-regarded man had every right to “quietly divorce” Mary once he heard about the pregnancy. And he was ready to do just that. His clean reputation would be sullied if he took this “loose woman” as his wife.
And yet, when the angel spoke to him in a dream, he chose obedience and trust over controlling his reputation. Though we don’t have recordings that convey how his community regarded him after his agreement with God, we can imagine he lost the respect of his family and his neighbors.
When God calls us to something outside the ordinary, we will face obstacles, disdain, and pain. The more we fall into striving for perfection, the harder it will be to live in His calling.
Perspective on Striving for Perfection
This holy family placed obedience and trusting God above striving for perfection in others’ eyes. Both Joseph and Mary were respected in their circles. To choose to honor God cost them that regard in man’s eyes.
Jesus, the perfect God-born-in-flesh, was birthed in an animal’s stable. His wasn’t that perfect, beautiful pristine birth. It was messy, earthy, humble. But, God . . .
God brought shepherds, the “least of these” to declare His miracle. He gifted this family with the beautiful lowing of animals in the silence of the night. One newborn’s first cries added harmony to the music of the barn.
This family walked with authenticity. They didn’t strive to live up to their neighbors’ and family’s expectations. The only One whose expectations mattered was their heavenly Father.
Why stop striving for perfection?
None of us will ever walk in Mary’s shoes as the mother of the Savior of the world. But, we have the privilege of sharing about Jesus with our communities. Will we do this? Even if it means sacrificing things we hold dear? Are we willing to relinquish that striving for perfection to live authentically before God and people?
It’s genuine, imperfect living, preparing for Christmas that truly shines God’s light into the lives and hearts of others.
Most of us tend to make Christmas far more extravagant and stressful than it needs to be. Maybe we should take a page from Joseph and Mary’s book and keep our focus on our Father rather than on all the things of Christmas our society tells us is important.
Why We Should Stop Striving for Perfection This Christmas—When we focus on Who we celebrate, rather than on how we celebrate, the true meaning of Christmas deepens in our souls. tellhisstory #perfection #trustinggod Click To TweetWhen we focus on Who we celebrate rather than on how we celebrate, the true meaning of Christmas deepens in our souls. Expectations will lose their grip on our hearts and minds. And we will be able to celebrate Christmas more authentically. When we leave perfection out of the mix, authenticity has a chance to shine.
Conclusion
Celebrating Christmas as a family takes on many hues. We may struggle to live up to others’ expectations. We’ll probably need to set some boundaries. Getting together will be wonderful and perhaps stressful. But where’s our focus?
When we choose to look to the Father for what He would have us do this Christmas season, we may just find that peace reigns in our hearts and in our days and spills over into the lives of those around us.
What about you? What prepares your heart to celebrate Christmas authentically? What helps you stop striving for perfection during the Christmas season?
Two quick notes:
We’re linking up at Lisa Jordan’s place next week!
And two . . .
Some of you have been asking if I would share some of my fiction . . . well, here is a short story I’ve written for my subscribers. You are among the first I’m offering this to. (squee!). If you subscribe to my monthly newsletter, you will receive this short story as a thank-you gift. I only send out newsletters once a month unless I have exciting book news.
This is a quick blurb of “When You Know”: LindaRae Brennan’s first husband’s infidelity makes her hesitant to trust another man. But Peter Miller seems honest, kind, sincere – just the man who could offer her a second chance at happily ever after. Could LindaRae be wrong when she insists actions always speak louder than words?
Most weeks, I link up with Grace and Truth, Anita Ojeda, Instaencouragements, and sometimes Let’s Have Coffee. Come join and read more encouraging posts!
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Oh Jeanne, this is such a beautiful message. I’m in awe of Mary and Joseph choosing to obey and trust their Father even when it meant they would be ostracized and condemned by friends and family. Such an example for us. “They didn’t strive to live up to their neighbors’ and family’s expectations. The only One whose expectations mattered was their heavenly Father.” Thank you for this encouragement to live likewise! Love and blessings to you!
Trudy, when I really stopped to think about Mary and Joseph, I was so humbled by their pure example. They stayed focused on their God. Oh, that we will be consistent in this decision as well! Sending you love and blessings back, my friend!
“The more we fall into striving for perfection, the harder it will be to live in His calling.” I hadn’t thought of it that way. Love it! Except for math, I kind of wish we could forget perfection measurements, period (or maybe keep it for grammar and spelling, too):) It’s often comparison that we use as a measurement. I try to flip perfection to “striving for excellence” or “inspired to be like…” That helps take the pressure off, and laugh at myself (which I have to do when striving to bake an item to look like its perfect “pinterest” picture).
Lynn, I am with you. Forgetting perfection measurements would be amazing. Comparing ourselves with others only ever leaves us feeling our perceived lack. I really like the way you reframe this into striving for things that are more pleasing to God. I bet most of your baked items turn out well. I’ve seen your pictures. 😉
PS-thank you for this encouragement! It’s so needed by so many of us this month of the year!
😊 😊 😊
Hi Jeanne–I’m seeking to say no to extra things and yes to a more simple Christmas this year. I’m hoping to read an advent devotional with my family each day. This sounds small and simple, but it doesn’t come easy. 🙂
Amy, saying “no” can be the wisest thing we do, especially during this season. I love the idea of reading an Advent devotion daily with your family. I pray the time spent on this is rich and draws you all closer together!
God has a theme going Jeanne! A wonderful post, living authentically is what we are called to do.
Especially as we draw close to our Saviour’s second coming.
Blessings, Jennifer
Yes, Jennifer! Living authentically is a bright way to shine Jesus’ light in the world around us, especially at Christmas.
This is so true, Jeanne, “When God calls us to something outside the ordinary, we will face obstacles, disdain, and pain.” It doesn’t really matter what the “something” is, when we obey Him, others don’t always understand. Yet, His grace is sufficient! I pray you have a grace-filled Christmas full of peace, Jeanne.
So true, whatever the “something” is, when we obey, we will make friction in the world around us. Thank goodness God’s grace IS sufficient. Thank you for those wishes, I wish the same for you, friend!
Great article, Jeanne, this is it for me, “focusing on “who” I am celebrating rather than “how” I celebrate.” So many years I fought the battle of the perfect holiday, but obedience over perfection equals peace, AMEN.
Yes, Donna. The Who we are celebrating truly brings meaning to Christmas. Keeping our focus on Jesus can frame our perspective during this busy season and help guide our decisions. As an “I don’t math” girl, I love your equation: obedience over perfection = peace. Well said, friend.
Aw, Jeanne … this is so good. People talk about being brave or having courage a lot these days, but Mary and Joseph? They truly were courageous. I love that they placed obedience over their desire to look good to others. What an example for us. Hugs, friend.
Lois, agreed! Mary and Joseph’s example really stood out to me this year! They were courageous, authentic in how they obeyed God. May we have the same mindset as we prepare our hearts to celebrate Jesus’ birth.
This post is so much on point with good nudges to keep in mind. You’re right. We do get tempted to strive for perfection in numerous ways from the time we try to decide how and when and what to decorate with our homes to what gifts we get for whom and how we handle family time, church celebrations, and more. The challenge we face is that life is messy, families are messy. God knew that and knew we needed Him to intervene so He chose Mary and Joseph to risk all they were known for to obey and be the means of the birth of Christ. The chaotic world in which we live would keep us spinning when we need to settle in and look again at the story we are seeking to honor so we don’t miss the most important and significant thing about this season.
Thanks for these very good words!
Pam, yes to all you’ve said! May we keep the truths Joseph and Mary teach us as we prepare our hearts to celebrate Jesus and the calling that brought Him to earth. I appreciate your encouragement!
Perfectionism is a thing of the world. We want others to see us in a certain light so we strive for perfection at the cost of everything else. The beauty of Jesus coming to Earth is that God chose the least likely parents to raise Jesus. God chooses each of us–flaws and all. He loves going against the grain to show how we each have something important to contribute.
Yes, Mary. Perfectionism is a worldly thing. My head nodded at all you had to say here. I’m so thankful His grace is enough to cover us.
They “placed obedience and trusting God above striving for perfection in others’ eyes. Both Joseph and Mary were respected in their circles. To choose to honor God cost them that regard in man’s eyes.” This sums up their faith and priorities so well. Pleasing God is all that matters. Thanks, Jeanne.
Yes, Deb. Pleasing God is all that matters. We used to have a pastor who said, “Keep the Main Thing the main thing.” I’ve never forgotten this. Jesus is the Main Thing!
I’ve dialed it all way back this year, probably for a bunch of reasons. Couldn’t be happier, more hopeful, more at peace.
Yay for dialing things back, Linda! I’ve done the same in an effort to not become stressed out. I miss some of the things I usually do, but not enough to up the stress in order to do them. 😉 Happiness, hope, and peace are great incentives to keep things simple and my focus in the right place.
Good thoughts, Jeanne. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hoopla and forget the whole meaning and purpose of Christmas. Or, if we don’t forget completely, we’re out of focus.
If Christmas ain’t the birthday
of the God who took our fall,
then there really is no way
we need honour it at all,
for in that case it’s just excuse
to sell us things that we don’t need,
to pry our hard-won dollars loose
to fuel corporate greed.
So ditch the tree and ditch the lights,
and dine on Mac And Cheese,
and go out on colder nights,
and when a bum asks, “Please?”,
give the cash that you can spare,
for when you do, Ol’Christ is there.
Andrew, your perspective has me nodding my head. We may or may not celebrate the holiday Christmas in an extravagant way, but if we seek to be Light to those around us, to show compassion to those in need, that’s a little like keeping Christmas in our hearts all year round. I’m praying for you and Barb, my friend.
Barbara, yes. Hoopla is sometimes how “all the things” feel this time of year. I have intentionally dialed back a lot of what we do for Christmas for this year. I’m learning to consider what causes me to feel stressed out and evaluated if that “thing” really needs doing this year. May we truly have hearts that focus on Jesus and what we’re really celebrating!
During staff worship last week we talked about the work PERFECT—and the leader explained that the word means TRUST. We have to give up the worldly definitions and strive to trust. I’m leaning into this definition as we approach the holidays. Trust, I can do. Marty Stewart and Norman Rockwell, I can’t!
Anita, I have never heard that definition of “Perfect” before! I love what you said about giving up worldly definitions and striving to trust in God. This is such a great approach for the Christmas season! I’m so glad you shared this.