Have you ever considered the things that do—or don’t—persuade God to answer prayers?
True confession: I find prayer . . . difficult. I’ve struggled with many mindsets over the years about how prayer should be done.
As our sons have matured into adulthood (how can that be?!), I’ve prayed for them. And, at times, it feels like my prayers bounce off the ceiling and pelt my head for their effectiveness. As one son rebelled and the other struggles with bouts of depression, these past few years have been tough.
And understanding the role of prayer in this phase of parenting? Tougher still.
Wrong beliefs about God’s “method” to answer prayers
Prayer has it’s own set of landmines we must learn to navigate. Everything from inaccurate beliefs about praying and what God will do to lies like “God answers prayers from others, but He won’t answer mine because He loves me less than them or I’m less worthy than others or I’ve worn Him out with my asking . . .”
We have heard many thoughts on what will give us a “yes” answer to our prayers.
What does not guarantee God’s “yes” answer to prayer
There are the questions of posture. Must I be on my knees, or on my face before God deigns to hear my prayers?
Must we pray a specific way—with a ton of emotion or none at all? Following a script like A.C.T.S (Acknowledge God, Confess sin, Thanksgiving, Supplication)?
Do we pray out of obligation or from a desire to commune with Him?
What role does faith play? Is it possible we don’t have enough faith, and that’s why God doesn’t answer prayers we send heavenward?
When God didn’t answer prayers with “yes”
When we struggled with infertility, some people told me if I only had more faith, God would give us a baby.
Huh?
I prayed.
In faith.
And God seemed silent.
I prayed for His will.
That He would remove the desire for a baby from my heart.
And He didn’t.
God sees beyond all of these things. More than any externals, He looks at the heart.
When we are authentic before Him—when we’re real about our thoughts, doubts, feelings, hopes, struggles—God hears us.
Whether we are face-on-the-carpet or stuck in rush hour traffic, God hears our prayers. He looks at our hearts. When we pray, what are our expectations? That He must answer, “Yes!” because of how we approach Him?
Truths about prayer
Here’s the truth: God doesn’t answer yes because we’ve discovered the magic ticket to persuade Him we deserve that Yes.
And He doesn’t answer No because we messed up so big He can’t see past our mistakes.
God always answers prayers. In His perfect timing. And in His perfect way. Sometimes, He says, “Yes, this is the best answer for you.”
Other times, God responds, “No.” Maybe it’s not the right time for that thing we’re praying for. Or, perhaps, because our Father isn’t confined by time as we are, He sees that answering with a “yes” would be outside of His best for us.
Perspective about prayer
When we pray, we must remember we are talking with our Heavenly Father, the God who created the universe. We’re conversing with a God who is outside the time continuum, yet who sees this moment as we live it.
And the next moment.
And the one after that.
Additional truths about prayer
Prayer is not dependent on us doing things right to get the answer we want. Genuine prayer is about communing with the One who created us. The God who loves us more than we can comprehend.
Prayer involves trusting our Father to know what His best is for us and to bring it about in our lives.
Prayer is about believing God has our best in mind. He knows the purposes He created us for. He understands our heart desires, our gifting, talents, our bents, passions, strengths and weaknesses.
Our Father loves when we come to Him in humility and believing in all of who He is. When we struggle with these facets, He doesn’t turn His back on us. Instead, God continues to work in our hearts and spirits, revealing our weaknesses, hidden motives, and our why behind the ask. When we trust God, He conforms us into the image of His Son.
When we’re yielded to God, He continues to draw us into deeper intimacy with Him. And, He aligns our desires with His (see Psalm 37:4)
Conclusion
Prayer is centered on praying the “right” way; it’s about coming before our Father who loves us more than anyone, trusting He hears us, and will give us the answer that is best for us.
I still pray for my sons each day. And as I do, God is revealing both specific things to pray about for each of them. He’s also showing work He’s still crafting in my own heart and life.
What about you? What’s an impacting lesson you’ve learned about praying? What have you learned about how God chooses to answer prayers of your heart?
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Honest conversation about prayer is so needed – and I am glad you opened up that conversation. At one point, I remember realizing that I just can’t ask 100 times a day – or a thousand – so I learned to trust He heard the prayer request. Then I asked Him to stand with me in the wait – and, suddenly, my life really changed – learning to live in the wait of a prayer sent out – it just wows me, still. Then I had to learn to stop praying for results I wanted so that I would be less stressed out, less worried. I had to learn to pray for people selflessly – to pray for His plan in their life. So many people can’t get beyond the asking:) I love how you always tackle the hard topics!
Maryleigh, wow, you’re speaking of the lessons I’ve also been learning on this journey of prayer. I so appreciate you sharing your lessons learned in the wait and about prayer! They encourage me. 🙂 Thanks for being here today, friend.
“Prayer is centered on praying the “right” way; it’s about coming before our Father who loves us more than anyone, trusting He hears us, and will give us the answer that is best for us.” This is so true. Thank you, Jeanne, and may you and your family have a blessed Easter!
Thank you, Kathy. I hope your Easter weekend is filled with God’s love and blessings as well!
Your pictures are wonderful!! Prayer is one of the powerful tools God has given us to communicate with Him. It’s taken me a long time to develop my prayer life. Sometimes i get right away answers on little things, like where did I leave an important item. He’ll lead me right to it. When I’m praying more serious prayers. I connect with the Holy Spirit and He gives me words and insights and answerrs. You are right sometimes the answer is “no” or “later”. Once I asked if we should move to a new church (we’d been going to our church for years, but the “church” was sold and I was no longer feelin fed. God answered by telling me “He was doing a new thing.” Sure enough, a month or so later, the church was sold again to an awesome Pastor and staff. Connection with the Holy Spirit is power because I ask Him to lead the prayer He does and I trust Him and the answers. Thre are also times when i pray but can feel I’m not connecting, then I either try later, or ask Jesus for help.
Mom, I love your insights into prayer. And your story about how God made so clear what His best was for you and the church you should attend. He does have a way of speaking to us. I appreciate the reminder that there may be times when we just try later or we ask Jesus to help us in our praying.
Your insights concerning prayer are spot on, Jeanne. I also think God’s answers are sometimes for the benefit of those within our circle of influence. For example, you offered a strong testimony while struggling with infertility. You were honest about your emotions with God, yet you remained firmly grounded in your faith. No doubt there were those around you who needed to see that questions and faith CAN coexist.
Nancy, I appreciate your encouragement! I love your perspective of how sometimes God’s answers are for the benefit of those in our circle of influence. We rarely see the multi-faceted ways God works through us. And yes, I think there are times when we each need to be reminded that questions and faith can coexist. Such wise words! Thanks for stopping by!
Jeanne, I’m sorry people blamed you for the struggle with infertility. What an error in thinking and such a painful accusation for you to endure. Prayer remains a mystery but I love your perspective here. It certainly is a discipline of communication that draws to the heart of the Father.
Tammy, thank you. It was many years ago, but some words just stay with you. They don’t sting anymore. They challenged me to understand better what faith is and how to live it out well, even when I didn’t understand the whys of God’s choices for me. When our first goal in prayer is to talk with God, communing with Him helps us to trust, even when we don’t understand. Thank you so much for stopping by, sweet friend!
This is a great post, Jeanne! I agree, sometimes we can look for the right formula, thinking if we pray in the right way God will answer as we want, but really it comes down to trusting him to answer in the way that is best for us, even if we don’t understand.
Lesley, I’m so glad you found value in this post. Yes, prayer really comes down to trusting God to answer in the way that is best for us.
You bring much food for thought here Jeanne!
Humility, trust & patience play a huge part in prayer & for me as I have grown older in the Lord, “Your will be done Lord” is in my prayers a great deal for I do not know the beginning & the end as He.
But I do know He answers every prayer I whisper with either a; “Yes, it’s not my timing yet or that’s not my will for that situation Jennifer, as I have something far better.”
And in that I trust.
Blessings, Jennifer
Jennifer, those three elements are coming to play a bigger and bigger role in my prayer interactions with the Lord. I’m with you. We are confined to moment-by-moment living, but God sees the beginning, the end, and every single second in between. I find comfort knowing He is orchestrating my story in the steps He knows are for my best. I love the idea about how God has better things in store for us than we can imagine in the moment!
So much powerful truth here, Jeanne. This is a huge key for me: “Prayer involves trusting our Father to know what His best is for us and to bring it about in our lives.” The older I get, the more inclined I am to sprinkle “your will be done” heavily throughout all the requests, complaints and feelings that I’m sharing with God. Typing out my prayers helps with this because I manually have to repeat the words, which sinks them in deeper. Praying for you, friend …
Lois, those four words are powerful in prayer. And they indicate we choose to trust God to answer our prayer, even if it’s in a way different than we want/think is best. I love that you type our your prayers, friend. Thanks for the prayers. They are appreciated!
Thank you for sharing this. I’m working on deepening my prayer life. As you said, trusting that he hears us is so key.
Natalie, it sounds like we may be in a similar place in terms of our prayer lives. May we both remember God hears us. 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by!
There are preachers who will teach you
exactly how you’ve gotta pray
so that our holy God’s constrained to do
everything that you might say.
Just call them with a credit card,
or even better, go online!
It really isn’t all that hard;
two hundred dollars will be fine,
and then you will be in the know,
far above the common Christian,
basking in the golden glow
and leaving all the unwashed wishin’
that, like you, they could afford
to talk directly to the Lord.
Andrew, such a perfect poem. How silly of humans to think we can dictate to God how He should be working in our lives. I’m truly thankful there’s no veil (as in the old temple) and no minimum “gift” we have to give before we can talk directly with the Lord. We can come before Him in our weakness, our ugliness, our shallowness, our brokenness, and He will hear and respond, in His way and time. Again, great poem!
I like how you said, “God doesn’t answer yes because we’ve discovered the magic ticket to persuade Him we deserve that Yes.” It is hard when you don’t sense any answer. Thanks for sharing your insights on this.
Debbie, I suspect we both know how hard it can be when we don’t sense God’s answer to our prayers. I’m so thankful that He still hears us in our situations and in our prayers. And He is with us, even when it seems like He’s not doing anything to answer “right now.”
I often think my prayers have more about changing me than changing God. For me, prayers are a way to work though my emotions n a safe place with someone who will nudge me to think differently.
Anita, YES! Prayer is much more about God changing us than us changing God. I love what you share about your prayers being a safe place to work through your emotions with our Father. Thank goodness God knows how to broaden our perspectives, eh? Saying a prayer for you and Pedro today, my friend.
Lot’s of great insight regarding prayer here, Jeanne! I’m still a WIP when it comes to prayers. But I see it as a time to commune with God. Learning from the Psalms, I see prayer as a way to calm anxiety, and face life knowing there are struggles, but He’s our refuge.
Lynn, I’m a WIP too when it comes to prayer. Communing with God is an essential part of our relationship with Him, isn’t it? As I’ve studied my One Word (pray) in the Bible so far this year, I’m loving all the insights the book of Psalms offers. Knowing God is our refuge is a great comfort!
Thank you for sharing this. I struggle with prayer so much, for all the reasons you gave here and more. I feel like my prayers are always the same, and I’m just doing a recantation because my needs don’t really change, then I’m like “What’s the point? It’s not like He doesn’t already know.” It’s so hard and frustrating.
Amy, I feel the struggle. I still, at times, struggle with these same things. I think the key is to persevere in praying, remembering who God is, that He hears us, and that He will answer. We just don’t know how or when. I’m saying a prayer for you today. You’re not alone in feeling that frustration!
I appreciate your humility here, Jeanne. I believe that’s a key component when we approach prayer because none of us can truly understand with certainty how God works. As I get older, I’m learning to to reevaluate my inaccurate beliefs about what God can do, and it’s helped me trust God more.
Lisa, thank you for your encouraging words. I’m with you in believing humility is a key component in prayer. I also appreciate your words about how taking time to reevaluate inaccurate beliefs and align them with truth helps us to trust God more. Yes and amen!
Someone has said that it’s not so much that “prayer changes things,” as the old saying goes. But it’s more like prayer changes us. As we search our hearts and seek His will, we yield ourselves more and more to Him.
I have heard this too, Barbara, and I completely agree! When we persevere in prayer, when we seek Jesus more than anything He can offer, we will be changed. I love your insights!